The DVD Next Door

Helen Mirren plays a terminally ill woman who decides not to  commit one more murder before she dies. You see – she is a trained assassin.  But when asked to kill a woman who is pregnant, she refuses. Cuba Gooding Jr. plays Mirren’s paramour (who is also a trained assassin) while he flirts on the side.  He and Mirren wind up going on the run with the pregnant woman. This may all sound as if there’s a plot, but not really. It’s all rather bizarre and strange and I’m wondering if it might have been more enjoyable if I played the scenes in a different order – just for the heck of it. However I don’t think it would matter. I give this film one twizzler.

Hilary Swank is a former missionary who now goes around disproving religious explanations for happenings. She’s asked to go to a small town where the lake’s waters have turned blood red and upon her arrival, faces locusts and other biblical scourges with a town that’s rapidly going downhill (not to mention getting smelly, messy and buggy). It’s a good thing that Swank brought along her test tube bottles so she can test swamp water and do all that scientific stuff, isn’t it? But in the end the film takes a sharp turn toward an explanation that I’m not going to give away- but is definitely worth waiting around for. I found this film entertaining and give it four twizzlers. 

Poor Denzel.  There’s a ferry bombing and he’s been there before. He thinks something is up and investigates as this thriller takes him on a rollercoaster ride of hints, clues and side stories that eventually tie together- but not before you see some cool explosions and get to guess a lot. If you like thrillers and action films, you’ll love this one. If you just like Denzel, go for it. I give it four twizzlers. 

It’s a dark and stormy night in this 2003 John Cusack thriller that takes place  at a lonely and deserted motel where stranded travelers find themselves being killed off by a mysterious murderer. Don’t leave the room even to get popcorn because you’ll miss something. If you like this kind of flick, don’t miss this one. I give it four twizzlers and would watch it again – it’s that good.

This thriller is set in a futuristic society where people no longer reproduce and the human race is facing certain extinction. That is, until a pregnant woman shows up and there is a frantic effort to protect her from the authorities so she can give birth. The exciting plot and excellent direction provide good entertainment without resorting to silly depictions of a future society that could have weighed this film down.  I give it four twizzlers.    

I really like Nicholas Cage and because of that I left this DVD in the player longer than I would have otherwise. Jessica Biel’s performance did nothing for me, nor did the story that was unbelievable and like a comic book gone bad. Apparently we’re supposed to believe that Cage is a magician whose skills are needed to help thwart terrorists. In a nutshell, the only plot in this film is the one the terrorists were supposed to have. I give it one twizzler and I’m being generous. 

This should be named “I’d like to know who killed this movie”. Was it the writers? The directors? The fact that the actors were insipid? The cheap use of torture, waste of catsup/blood or the sheer audacity of trying to pretend there was any plot continuity? Seriously, this horror flick was a horror. I suppose everyone knows by now that Lindsay Lohan starred in this movie. But you’d be better off going over to tmz.com to watch a clip of her than watching this.It was so disjointed, so poorly written and put together that I don’t think there’s anything to say other than put something else in your movie queue. Anything. Really. One twizzler